As tradeswomen and as minorities, sometimes it can feel like we’re pushing for everything.
Pushing to get the job.
Pushing to have our voice heard.
Pushing for training opportunities.
Pushing for recognition.
Pushing for a promotion.
Pushing to be taken seriously.
And then, once we’ve finally got there, we find ourselves pushing again.
Don’t get me wrong I’m all for pushing for what you want. Sometimes you absolutely have to advocate for yourself, speak up and keep going when things aren’t easy.
But there comes a point where we need to ask ourselves:
What am I pushing for, and is this where I want my energy to go?
The Constant Push
I’ve worked with tradeswomen who have had to fight incredibly hard to get the opportunities they deserve.
Maybe they’ve had trouble getting a job in the first place.
Then, once they’re in, they’re fighting for training.
Then they’re fighting to have their voice heard.
Then they’re fighting for leadership opportunities.
And before you know it, they’re exhausted.
Sometimes we’ve been pushing for so long that we’ve forgotten to stop and ask whether we want to keep pushing in that direction.
I had a coaching client who was having issues getting the training she needed.
Our first thought was:
Okay. Who do we need to talk to? What are the options? What can we do?
And yes, sometimes that’s exactly what you need to do.
But then I asked her:
“How are you doing? Are you okay to keep pushing?”
Because there isn’t one right answer.
Sometimes the right thing is to push.
Sometimes the right thing is to pause.
And sometimes the right thing is to walk away and put your energy somewhere else.
You Don’t Have to Push Everywhere at Once
This is something I’ve had to learn myself.
For a long time, I was pushing in every area of my life.
Work? Push.
Personal life? Push.
Career goals? Push.
Everything? Push, push, push.
And then I wondered why I was so bloody exhausted.
Well… there’s your answer.
You can’t constantly be fighting every battle at the same time and expect yourself to have endless energy.
Now, I personally like to focus my pushing in one main area at a time.
If something big is happening in my personal life and that’s taking a lot of my energy, maybe that’s not the best time to push for a promotion at work.
If I’m putting everything into a major work goal, maybe it’s not the best time to move house, start another huge project and have five difficult family conversations.
Sometimes you must let something simmer.
It doesn’t mean you’re giving up.
It means you’re choosing where your energy goes.
Are You Doing It for You?
There’s another thing we need to check in on.
Sometimes people tell us:
“You can’t do that.”
“You shouldn’t do that.”
“You’ll never make it.”
And suddenly we’re determined to prove them wrong.
And let’s be honest…
It feels bloody good to prove someone wrong.
But ask yourself:
Do I want this?
Or do I want it because someone told me I couldn’t have it?
There’s nothing wrong with proving someone wrong.
But you don’t want someone else’s opinion to become the reason you build your entire life.
Your goals should belong to you.
Not the person who doubted you.
Not your boss.
Not your family.
Not the people who think they know what’s best for you.
You.
Have an Internal Team Meeting
When you’re feeling stuck, I want you to imagine you’re having an internal team meeting.
Bring everyone along.
Your experiences.
Your values.
Your conscience.
Your goals.
Your future self.
Have a bloody meeting.
Ask yourself:
What am I actually trying to achieve?
Why am I pushing for this?
Does this align with my values?
Because your values can change throughout your life.
Maybe right now your biggest value is career progression.
Maybe it’s family.
Maybe it’s financial security.
Maybe it’s freedom.
Maybe it’s self-care.
Maybe it’s learning.
Maybe it’s being around people who support you.
Whatever it is, check whether the thing you’re pushing for aligns with what’s important to you.
Check Your Energy
You also need to look at your energy.
You have a finite amount of it.
Yes, there are things you can do to recharge. Yes, your energy can change.
But you still have a limit.
So ask:
Do I actually have the energy for this battle?
And if you don’t, what happens if you keep pushing anyway?
You might push yourself straight towards burnout.
I’ve definitely done this.
You get so caught up in the fight that you don’t even realise how exhausted you are until you finally stop.
And the problem is that if you keep repeating the same pattern, you can burn yourself out, recover, and then do the exact same thing again.
So, check in before you get to that point.
Is There Another Way?
When you’re deep in the fight, sometimes you become so focused on pushing forward that you can’t see another option.
You keep thinking:
“I just need to push harder.”
But what if you don’t?
What if there’s another way?
Maybe you need to have a different conversation.
Maybe you need to speak to someone else.
Maybe you need a mentor.
Maybe you need to change your approach.
Maybe you need to take a break.
Maybe you need to stop trying to change something that isn’t yours to change.
Or maybe there genuinely isn’t another way, and you need to keep pushing.
That’s okay too.
The point isn’t to tell you to stop fighting.
The point is to check in before you keep fighting.
What Do You Actually Want to Change?
This is something I’ve thought about a lot in my own career.
There are so many ways I could create change for women in trades.
I can train and assess.
I can work as a mechanic.
I can speak at careers expos.
I can help encourage women into trades.
I can talk about getting more women into the industry.
And I love doing those things.
But eventually I had to ask myself:
Where do I actually want my energy to go?
I became obsessed with what happens after women enter the trades.
Why are they leaving?
What makes them cry in their cars?
What support do they actually need once they’re already in the industry?
What makes them stay?
What makes them feel like they belong?
That’s where I wanted to focus.
There are plenty of other people doing amazing work encouraging women into trades.
But I wanted to put my energy into supporting the women who were already there.
That became my priority.
And that’s the important bit:
I chose where I wanted to push.
Take a Step Back
So if you’re currently fighting for something, take a step back.
Ask yourself:
Am I pushing because I genuinely want this?
Am I pushing because someone told me I couldn’t, do it?
Does this align with my values?
Do I have the energy for this?
Is there another way I could approach the problem?
Is this still something I want?
You might discover that you’re absolutely on the right path.
And if you are, bloody go for it.
Keep pushing.
Keep advocating for yourself.
Keep speaking up.
But you might also discover that your energy would be better spent somewhere else.
And that’s okay too.
Changing direction doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
It means you’ve checked in with yourself and made a conscious choice.
Final Thoughts
We can get so caught up in pushing for what we want that we forget to ask whether it’s actually what we want anymore.
So every now and then, have that internal team meeting.
Check your values.
Check your energy.
Check your reasons.
And look at whether there’s another way forward.
You don’t have to prove everyone wrong.
You don’t have to fight every battle.
And you don’t have to push yourself into the ground just because you’ve always been the person who keeps going.
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is pause and ask:
“Is this still where I want to put my energy?”
If the answer is yes keep going.
If the answer is no, you’re allowed to choose something else.
Your energy is valuable.
Spend it on something that matters to you.
And if no one’s told you today, I believe in you.
I know you can do amazing things.
Thank you for reading along, if you are a tradeswoman and would like some help or support with this please book in a time to chat here – https://calendly.com/louise-azzopardi/coaching_consult“
